


What's New?

by Elder_Schraderham



Series: Laser Cats [2]
Category: Saturday Night Live
Genre: Based on a John Mulaney joke, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 19:31:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4577082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elder_Schraderham/pseuds/Elder_Schraderham
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Admiral Spaceship and Nitro have just returned from a deep space mission and in need of some recharging. Nitro suggests a small diner on Earth. While relaxing with their cats by their side, Spaceship finds an old relic, only to find how not unusual it is that it works. The two decide it’s a great time and place to have a little immature fun. Based on a John Mulaney stand up story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's New?

“Wow, kemosabe,” Admiral Spaceship smiled to his friend, “this was a great idea!”

The two had just returned to earth from a deep space mission and was in need of a break. The two were sent to fight off Lord Nebula. The dastardly being was trying to gather all the laser cats to morph them all together to form an Ultra Laser Cat, capable of destroying half the galaxy! Thankfully, the duo defeated the Lord and saved the world once again.

To kick back and do some relaxing, the two had found themselves in a small diner in New York. Thankfully the owners of the diner were alright with the duo’s cats to join them, as long as they were kept under control of course. No one wanted to get shot at by a laser while eating. 

“It’s one way to unwind after an exhausting mission,” Nitro nodded, taking a sip of his much needed coffee.

“This place is great.”

“It’s the only place that will actually allow laser cats in it.”

“How’d you find that out?”

“Online.” 

Spaceship nodded, taking a sip of his soda. He looked around the diner. It had a very nostalgic feel to it, like something in an old movie he’d watch as a child. As his eyes wandered, they came across an ancient relic he hadn’t seen in real life.

“Is that a jukebox?” Spaceship asked, gesturing towards the large box towards the front of the diner.

Nitro had to turn around to see where he was pointing to. He nodded a few times. “It looks like one if I’ve ever seen one.”

“I wonder if it still works,” Spaceship wondered, curious about the older relic. 

With a shrug, Nitro took another sip of his coffee. “Get up and find out.”

Spaceship nodded and slid out of the booth. Thankfully Tractor Beam stayed put as his owner walked up to the front of the diner to check out the jukebox. To his luck, the thing was fully functional. He smiled and returned back to their booth. 

“Verdict?” Nitro asked.

“It still works.”

“Were you hoping it would or…?” Nitro asked.

“I have an idea,” Spaceship nodded. He unzipped his jumpsuit and dug into his shorts pocket for his wallet and pulled out three coins, equal to three dollars. “How much change do you have?”

Nitro shrugged and fished around in his shorts pocket and pulled out four coins. He dropped each one on the table as he reached around for them. “That’s it.”

“Great.”

“Kemosabe, what are you doing?”

“You’ll see,” Spaceship smiled and walked back up to the jukebox and began to insert the coins. 

Nitro peaked around the booths to watch his friend curiously. Spaceship would insert a coin and hit the screen a few times, then two more times after that. He kept up the process for two coins before Nitro stood up to see what he was up to.

“What are you-“ Nitro asked as he approached his friend.

Spaceship merely giggled a bit at his actions. Nitro put a hand over his mouth as he saw the queue of songs. One of their favorite oldies artists was Tom Jones. He had punched in seven plays of their favorite song ‘What’s New Pussycat’. They adored the song obviously. 

Nitro gently nudged his shoulder. “What if you added one ‘It’s Not Unusual’? Throw off the curve? I mean, the people listening could deduce who punched in seven by this point. We’re the only ones with cats here,” Nitro suggested in a low voice only he and Spaceship could hear.

Spaceship said nothing, but his eyes lit up. He did as he said and went back to punching in the songs worth seven coins. Once Nitro saw the odd man out Tom Jones song, he returned back to the cats. Thankfully they didn’t tear anything apart. Tractor Beam was snoozing on the booth against the wall as Nos waited till Nitro sat down before climbing into his lap and rubbing against his stomach. 

About a minute later Spaceship slid back onto his side of the booth, disrupting his cat’s slumber. Tractor Beam made a little annoyed noise before snuggling back down and returning to dreamland. Spaceship took a sip of his soda and the first track began to play. Nitro did his best to cover his smile by burring his face into his coffee cup. 

“You realize we’re adults, right?” Nitro asked through his cup.

Spaceship nodded.

“And you’re a year older than me.”

He nodded again.

“Ok. Just making sure we’re on the same page.”

“No. We are, kemosabe.”

“Good. Good.”

“I’m mature for my age, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Nitro rolled his eyes, “I’m sure you don’t.” 

Nos decided to get in on their conversation. She sat up on Nitro’s lap and put her front paws on the edge of the table top and stood on her back hind legs. Spaceship smiled to the cat, and to his misfortune, she turned around and looked at Nitro instead. He scratched her ears which caused her to start purring. 

“Man, I wish Tractor Beam would do things like that for me.”

“You need to have a special bond with him, kemosabe. Build trust between you and your laser cat.”

“Wanna trade?”

“No way. Tractor Beam hates me.”

“He does not hate you.”

“Lies,” Nitro crossed his arms over his chest. “Last time I walked into a room he was in, he shot at me till I left. Nos doesn’t do that.”

“Cause Nos is _your_ cat, not mine.”

“Does she shoot at you?”

“Well, no…”

“Point made.”

Spaceship rolled his eyes and the two went back to silence, just admiring the magical voice flooding the speakers in the old diner. They were having the greatest time watching all the other people in the diner slowly start to loose their minds.

A soda, two cups of coffee, and seven plays of the same song later, people were starting to loose their minds. The two masterminds were doing their very best trying to contain themselves the whole time. Once in a while they would overhear someone complain about the song playing again. But now was the kicker. 

The seventh play faded out.

Not a sound was heard in the diner for a few seconds.

Then. It happened.

The other Tom Jones song began to play, and the relief fell upon the people in the diner. Spaceship had to put his head down on the table to keep from laughing out loud. Nitro on the other hand tried to hold in his laughter, but failed and caused himself to start coughing and laughing at the same time. Thankfully the coughing masked the laughter. 

It took a few moments for the two to collect themselves once more. Once the song ended, and it went back to the other song. People were going insane. About three more plays, two more refills were needed on their beverages. Once their waitress came back with another pot of coffee for Nitro, she spoke to them as she filled up his cup for the sixth time.

“We know it was you two that did this.”

“Can’t prove it,” Spaceship noted.

“I’m going to have to ask you two to leave,” she placed the check down between them on the table, “and never come back.”

The two nodded and responded in unison, “fair enough.”

Once the waitress walked away she conveniently walked by the jukebox and just so happened to “trip” on the cord, unplugging the jukebox mid song. There was another sigh of relief throughout the diner. They had made it till their eleventh slot. The duo finished off their drinks, paid the check, took their cats, and left. 

The two burst into laughter once they left the diner, cats laying on the ground. Nitro held up a hand for a high five and Spaceship happily returned it.

“That was the best idea, kemosabe!” Nitro complimented.

“Wanna do it again?” Spaceship asked with a grin ear to ear.

“You bet.”

“After we go back to base for a nap,” Spaceship then noted.

“Kemosabe. I’ve had six cups of coffee. You can nap all you want, I’m going to the gym.”

Spaceship simply shrugged, “Well, that’s not unusual.”


End file.
